Good mornin’, Brookingsians! How be ye?

I am told that ye use this “Culture and the World” feature to explore the many facets of cultures other than yer own.

Well, consider me a member of another culture, for I am Irish! And I am wee! And I have magic! And I play me fiddle like the devil’s own spit!

Ye should know what I do with me days. I hide out in Pioneer Park and dance among the bushes, sprinkling small bits of cereal and marshmallows to all the good children who come near me.

When I play me fiddle, they dance for me, a jig that can only bring them happiness and a whole bunch of marshmallows.

Some complain that I may be an outdated cultural stereotype that brings nothing but pain, but I say fie on them and fie on their families who do not have the strength of spirit to believe in me, the mystical leprechaun.

Perhaps ye will be lucky enough to find me at the end of a rainbow, where I will dance me jig of prosperity and give ye a pot of gold, which will overflow with riches.

Perhaps ye will never see me, but know that I am watching you and I frequent your bedrooms in the dark of night to steal your socks!

It is a little known fact of our culture that we leprechauns enjoy a good sock or two. We use them to disguise ourselves when we must go out into the human world. Should ye ever see a sock laying in the midst of busy traffic, know that I or one of my brethren are hiding inside of it, making the world merry.

The nights are the time for leprechauns, for that is when we spin our moonwebs about the carriages of wee babies to protect them from moon spiders.

These moon spiders would abduct the wee babies and suck their souls, but we protect them from such.

Now, ye may think me crazy, but I assure you I am not. I am a normal leprechaun who loves me a good jig and perhaps a pint at Jim’s Tap. I shop at Wal-mart for me supplies (though I am sad to see K-mart close). Me favorite restaurant is Country Kitchen, but I am excited for Applebees like any sensible leprechaun.

But at night, I dance among the children and make them merry.

It is yer own fault that ye do not see me, for ye do not believe in the magical or the Irish anymore. It also hurts that I am wee and difficult to see from your height levels.

But I am there, nonetheless, protecting yer babies from moon spiders.

And if ye see me, say hello and buy me some socks.

Seamus Leprechaun seeks your love and approval. Write to him atseamusleprechaun@hotmail.com.

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