Nathan Sanderson
The human race slides further and further into stupidity
Early humans required very little to survive. If you give a Cro Magnon a sharpened stick to gather some Mammoth meat, a Mastodon hide or two to keep warm and a dry cave to protect him from a hungry Saber-toothed tiger, he was just fine. Obviously, he lived long enough to discover fire, invent the wheel and reproduce often enough to allow all of us to be here.
As you begin this column, Nathan is still finishing it up
Procrastination: To postpone or delay needlessly. Or, to put off doing the smallest, most insignificant item until the last possible moment, thereby inducing five times as much work as would have been required if done immediately. Those of us who procrastinate seem incapable of performing any task until absolutely necessary.
Nathan desires a rock star’s life
At some point in everyone’s life, a dream to be a rock star springs up. For me, it’s been in the last two years. As graduation day looms in my very near future, I am trying as hard as possible to avoid getting a real job. I would rather be a professional athlete, an actor, a supermodel or a rock singer long before having to sit in a cubicle and grind my life away like the software engineers on “Office Space.
Nathan names the five greatest cartoons that ever were
I tried to create a cartoon once. I scratched out several thought bubbles and filled them with witty, engaging commentary. Then I tried to draw. My “wonderful” cartoon looked like a combination of Vincent Van Gogh on speed and Jimmy Kimmel’s first-grade art project.
SDSU could be America’s secret weapon in the war against Iraq if the U.S. asks for us
With a war against Iraq almost certainly coming soon, it seems that the entire nation has thrown itself into a frenzy. Not since the 1960′s have we seen the type of hysteria that caused school children then to crouch below desks to protect themselves from a nuclear blast and now for citizens to barricade their homes with plastic and duct tape.
You think we have it bad? Then you should see Indiana!
Last week in Indianapolis, Indiana, a man died on the interstate at approximately 6 p.m. The gentleman in question was reportedly hit by an 18-wheeler, a pickup and at least six cars. He was standing in the middle of the road facing oncoming traffic. Sounds like an open-and-shut case to me.
Looking out for folks to party with
At this point in the semester, distinct lines have formed among the fair students of SDSU. One lesson newcomers learn almost immediately is the “party within your group” rule. If you don’t know what this is, you really should get out more. When attending a social gathering, it is imperative that you hang with comrades lest you become the butt end of a rather nasty prank.
Valentine’s Day strikes once again
When February rolls around, the females of our species seem to get into a certain mood that is difficult to shake. Emotions run high as anticipation meets expectation. While Groundhog Day may arouse this feeling in Pennsylvania, for the rest of the world that feeling means that it is St.
Lies can save your relationships
Honesty is the most important aspect in any relationship. Without open lines of communication, that special someone in your life will grow as distant as the nooky you’re looking for. There are times, however, when it may not be feasible to be exactly truthful.
Flying the friendly sky
I love to fly, don’t you? I’m not talking about you or your buddy renting a turboprop plane and cruising up to Watertown, or something else you might call “flying.” I’m talking about flying commercially and then standing in line for seven hours because Mabel forgot that there are three pounds of metal in the $28 worth of change in her pocket.
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