Nathan Hopper
Short-changing SDSU students:
With the flair and fashion that smacks of arrogant aristocracy, the Brookings City Council?and particularly Mayor Virgil Herriott?have adopted the attitude that anyone opposed to the flagrantly unfair Third-B tax Just Doesn’t Get It. “There’s a lack of understanding why or what we’re going to do with it,” said one council member and reported by the Brookings Register regarding the allocation of Third-B funds.
Politics look bleak for South Dakota
Seeing as how all the bridges in South Dakota have been burned, it only makes sense that Gov. Janklow would take his torch to Washington D.C. in search of some tinder. For those of you who don’t follow state politics, here’s the Short and Sweet: term limited, and all out of enemies, Janklow announced on March 6 that he will run for South Dakota’s sole congressional seat.
The Third B Tax:
I’m working on a new venture: I want to take a minimum of $35,000 from 3,000 different people – because I can spend it more wisely than them. The English Major is open for suggestions on how best to do this. Lacking any properly original ideas, Plan A is to follow the Brooking City Council – implement Yet Another Tax on prepared foods.
Brookings’ area employers cheat students
Thanks to the wonderful flotilla of Brookings employers, one need not look far to find a Low-Paying, exploitative job. Within Brookings proper, there’s at least a half dozen places eager to harness the low-wage potential of College Educated individuals. So don’t let anyone tell you that Brookings isn’t Someplace Special.
How to win friends, influence people and sucker students into voting for you
In a few short weeks, we will endure a gay spectacle of the most savage proportions – the Students’ Association elections. It’s a bit early, but the English Major does not dabble in the black art of procrastination and neither should you. To all the SA President and Vice President hopefuls out there, our field agents have compiled this HOW-TO on getting elected.
Whoring vs. Job Hunting: is there really a difference betwixt the two?
Job hunting is the last legal form of prostitution. No joke. There’s nothing funny about such a lascivious enterprise. It’s a sick, degrading world out there, but at least the threat of a disfiguring disease is nil. That’s about the only good thing I have to say.
Giving up freedoms in the face of fighting
Terror against terror: That is the new paradigm. In order to stifle terrorism, we must be vigilant, John Birch Society devotees with one eye on our neighbors, and one ear to television. Immigrants and non-residents, we are told, are worthy of extra attention and suspicion.
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