Just as I was thinking about how many times I could have written funny limericks using Gary Puckett’s name and didn’t think to do it, the 60s singer topped me.

Imagine a large mixing bowl of something that is an almost pure white – rice, mashed potatoes or vanilla ice cream.

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For eight years, Doris Giago has been as busy on many evenings as she is during the day.

If there is one significant problem with Brookings, it is the location of our campus.

It is just far enough away from those late-night gathering spots that it tempts some students to get into real trouble.

How? We’re glad you asked.

Don’t kid us. We know that many of you are going to drink adult beverages this year. In fact, a new government study revealed that one of every three young people between the ages of 12 and 20 said they drank alcohol within the past 30 days.

But this is not a sermon against drinking.

You’ll hear that from others.

What we want to warn you about is simple stupidity.

Look in The Brookings Register sometime. As you scan through the proceedings of the magistrate court, you’ll quickly learn that it’s going to cost you a fine of nearly $400 and a bit more for court costs if you decide to drink and drive in this town.

Oh yeah, and you’ll get to spend a night or so in jail and maybe serve more time if the judge doesn’t approve a suspension of a harsher sentence.

And to get that suspension, you’re going to have to hire a lawyer to plead your case.

That will make it even more difficult to pay off that danged credit card of yours.

It’s a costly and embarrassing situation. Yet, many SDSU students are either arrested for drunken driving or being in possession of alcohol illegally every year.

We know. We know.

Those cool bars are downtown, or maybe you want to go and have a few cocktails over by the highway. And when it’s raining or snowing, it’s tempting to drive over and hope you won’t be caught. Good luck! Your odds get worse and worse with every new night adventure.

It’s not worth the risk. And it’s certainly not worth the money it will cost you and your family.

We know. We know.

There’s only one cab in town. But if you have had too much to drink (it all depends, but that usually happens after about two beers for most people; there are physical variables that come into play), find a sober friend who happens to be going your way.

Or suck it up and walk home.

If your license is suspended because of alcohol, you’ll be doing a lot of walking anyway.

Besides, we want you in class. We figure all the drinking may have killed some of your brain cells already anyway.

With you there, we may do a bit better if the prof grades on the curve.

David Pego is an instructor-turned-student on the SDSU campus. Reach him at dpego@msndspring.com

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