My life revolves around my computer. I have accepted this fact and dealt with it. However, as a result of this strange gravitational pull I have towards keyboard and screen, I often find myself trying to enhance my little black laptop with screensavers, games, and sounds. It’s for my computer’s benefit, not mine, I swear! I’m making it better!

Freewarehome.com has provided a one-stop outlet for my addiction. It sorts downloads into convenient categories along the left side of the website?categories including business, desktop, education, games, and programming. And within each category are subcategories, further increasing ease in finding the software that is right for you and your computer. Once you’ve decided if you want a screensaver, a puzzle game, or just something fun, you simply look through what they’ve got for you. Each program has a short description, size, and visitor rating. The best part about all these programs is that they’re all free. Surprisingly enough, that’s what “freeware” means.

A number of programs out there are “shareware,” which sounds like “free” but actually means that you get a demo and must then delete the program or start paying for it after the specified time. That’s just not fun for the average college student. It’s bad enough we’re downloading software that is taking us away from our homework and classes, but having to pay for said software, as well?

My favorite category so far is in the Desktop: Fun stuff. You can find all sorts of weird stuff there. A lot of the programs are “stress relievers” in which you can “torch” the desktop or “throw” rocks through windows. One of these I find amusing is the Starfish Program. It’s just a starfish that follows your mouse cursor, as though it were curious of it. Press the spacebar, and the starfish becomes afraid of the mouse and runs away from it. I could go on to describe the wacky things you can have running around on your desktop, but the starfish are really starting to panic.

Most of the programs are available at www.freewarehome.com.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to make my computer the baddest machine in Brown Hall.

4 stars

It’s not every day that a person actually learns something from a movie. I Spy, the action/comedy starring Owen Wilson and Eddie Murphy taught me one valuable lesson: I need to go to more matinees. Don’t misunderstand me. I did enjoy the film. But if I’m going to spend six-fifty on a show, there had better be more than popcorn and nutshots. If that’s all I wanted from the evening, I could have just seen Jackass.

I Spy is a revamp of the 1965 television series of the same name. Owen Wilson is Alex Scott, a special agent for the Bureau of National Security. Eddie Murphy plays boxer Kelly Robinson so well you could have sworn he’d done it before. Hmm? where have I seen Murphy play an obnoxious, egotistical, limelight-hog? The first film that comes to mind is Bowfinger (1999) where he played Hollywood action star Kit Ramsey.

The plot is simple. A prototype jet has been stolen from the US Government and will be auctioned off to the highest bidder in Budapest, Hungary. The Bureau sends out a team of agents to recover it, with Kelly along only to provide civilian cover for Alex. Once in Budapest, the usual spy-stuff happens. Car chases, explosions, and nutshots. Wilson gets it five times?the sixth being reserved for Murphy.

There’s an awesome scene where Murphy is putting words in Wilson’s mouth, and I laughed out loud when they started an energetic round of “Sexual Healing.”

Thankfully, this is not one of those movies where the preview has given everything away.

There are plenty of fun little treats waiting for viewers. Wilson has some good dialogue and Murphy is still a great actor, despite his recycled character. The few scenes in which these two seem to be having fun are naturally the most satisfying for the audience. I particularly enjoyed their enthusiasm about receiving a ticker tape parade.

All in all, it was nice to see a movie that didn’t require a great deal of thought on my part, although the movie wasn’t completely witless.

Still, the talent had to came through. The story wasn’t strong enough to hold its own without the two stars.

3 stars

They say that truth is stranger than fiction. Greg Dean’s online comic, “Real Life” takes truths in the life of the author and twists them into a strange sort of fiction. The main character in the comic strip is?

Greg Dean, who offers up a unique way of living his “real life.” He is addicted to role-playing video games and Pepsi. His friends share these addictions, as they share their own place in his comic strip. There is something strangely appealing about the bizarre things Greg and his friends decide to do on a daily basis. They travel through time, to alternate dimensions, and to Renaissance fairs in elaborate costumes.

But, perhaps what I find most enjoyable is how frequently the comic tears down the fourth wall between entertainment and audience. The characters in the comic argue, bargain, and heckle the cartoonist. The readers are constantly being sucked into inside jokes, and random discrepancies?such as characters who have disappeared for no apparent reason?are questioned time and time again.

It isn’t that nothing is sacred in “Real Life.” It’s that everything is funny.

One downfall of “Real Life” is how much of it there is. The archive is huge. If you start from the beginning, it will take several hours of homework time to get to the current comic. Of course, if you haven’t got anything better to do and can’t seem to stop checking your e-mail, you don’t have anything to lose by jumping into “Real Life’s” archive.

Up until October of 2000, “Real Life” was also mostly in black and white, as are most syndicated daily cartoons.

The comics are found at www.reallifecomics.com and for any sword enthusiasts, Greg Dean also does a weekly comic for Swords Online in the same style as “Real Life.” You can find a link to this comic at the “Real Life” page. 3 1/2 Stars