The point of my admittedly tasteless simile is that when you judge things at a glance you lose the nuance of the whole.

With that said, I guess you could call me a liberal. I think money spent on the poor is money well spent. I think the government should be able to tell people that there are some places you should not be allowed to carry a firearm. I think gay people should be able to get all the benefits of marriage as straight people. The list goes on. I am usually to the left of most issues.

To the apolitical out there or people who just do not pay attention to the national news, telling people where you fall on the political spectrum can severely change the way they view you as a person. I had a ten-year-old friendship end suddenly because she found out I was excited to vote for Barack Obama. We got along great for a long time while she just assumed I was a conservative. Suddenly, with a short text conversation in 2008, I changed into a totally different person to her. It is not the weirdest reason a girl has left me, but it was easily the most unexpected.

Now before I get too off topic, I will be breaking down some of the Republican presidential field. I will do so as even-handedly as I can. I could even see myself voting for a Republican. Obama has not exactly lived up to all my expectations.

Michele Bachman: I appreciate her enthusiasm, but man, she has some interesting ideas about science. I agree that forcing girls to get vaccines might be a bridge too far for the government. Bachman saying that the vaccines cause mental retardation as her justification is several Akashi Kaikyō Bridges ((World’s Longest Bridge (Thanks Wikipedia)) for me to take her seriously.

Rick Perry: He seems like more sizzle than steak to me. Referring to Social Security as a “ponzi scheme” is a gross over-simplification of the problems with the program as well as just plain not true. On top of all of that, he just smacks of the 43rd President, “Dub-ya” that burns my liberal skin like a vampire in the daylight.

Newt Gingrich: Du-ha-ha, come on now.

Mitt Romney: I would feel okay about voting for Romney, actually. He has some business chops and he enacted a healthcare law while Governor of Massachusetts that the Left would have killed for during the Obama Healthcare debates.

Other personal favorite Republican candidates of mine that have absolutely no chance of winning the nomination are Ron Paul and Jon Huntsman. Paul because I think he is just the kind of man who could burn away the dead overgrowth in Washington. Huntsman because he is the only GOP candidate that openly embraces real science.

Well, there it is. Liberal readers can take my opinions and talk them over with each other over an organic chai tea at the next lesbian poetry slam. Conservative readers can also get together at the next church sponsored turkey shoot and gun show with a better idea of how the other side views their candidates. Just remember to try to leave stereotypes out of it when trying to understand your fellow citizens. Thanks. Peace.

Recently, the Supreme Court upheld the rights of the Westboro Baptist Church to protest outside the funerals of soldiers. They say that god is killing soldiers because of the United States’ “acceptance” of homosexuals. Apparently to them “acceptance” involves passing laws against gay people’s right to marry the ones they love.

As far as the Westboro Baptist lunatics’ right to protest goes, I begrudgingly have to agree with the Supreme Court’s decision. Those dirtbags have the same rights as all other straight people have in this country.

This is where it gets confusing to me. The Westboro Baptist bigots are universally reviled for their disrespect for fallen troops because of their hatred for homosexuals. Yet our former president proposed a constitutional amendment that would define as marriage as a heterosexuals only institution.

The message I am hearing is “We agree with the Westboro Baptist Church that homosexuals are less than citizens, we just have a problem with their choice of venue.”

This should not be a liberal or a conservative issue but the lines seem to be drawn that way. I am quite liberal and not shy about it, but I can find common ground on some conservative platforms and even agree whole heartedly with a few libertarian ideas.

Gay marriage is one topic I have never heard a single compelling argument against.

Churches that didn’t acknowledge marriage between same sex couples wouldn’t be forced to host gay weddings. God’s magical marriage spell isn’t a prerequisite to equal rights.

One argument I hear a lot is, “if we allow gay marriage we would have to allow polygamy.” Again, who cares? If some adult falls in love with more than one other adult, good for them. Doesn’t change my plans to play Dungeons and Dragons and watch Arrested Development all weekend.

Another argument I hear is “if we allow gays to marry then we have to let people marry animals or pedophiles marry children.” Wow! That sure escalated fast! So gay people are suddenly sexual predators? Why can’t we just allow adults to marry adults and continue to not let adults marry children. It seems like a fairly obvious place to draw a line. As far as marrying animals goes? Seems fine to me. As long as they aren’t abusing the animals it doesn’t seem like a problem to me. I mean, I consider my dog Gunner a friend, (totally platonic), but I doubt he has ever thought of me as anything other than the guy that feeds him.

All the other arguments I have read or heard get so far out on a limb that I don’t feel like I need to refute them.

Most of peoples’ problem with gay people is a problem of them feeling uncomfortable about gay people. Heck, I feel uncomfortable around anyone, gay or straight, being affectionate in public, but feeling comfortable isn’t protected by the government. Our rights are what matter. Whether it is the Wesboro Baptist’s right to spew their hate speech at grieving families or the right of gay people to be equal under the law.

The way I see it, since we cannot take away those hate mongers’ rights the best way to stick it to them is to give rights to all our fellow citizens.

For you, the reader, I can’t say who you are or how you may feel about another school year ending.

For me, this will be my first year of full-time employment. My schedule doesn’t change much at all save for the sun will be visible through the windows of my workplace. I always knew this day would come, and I did everything I could to avoid it, but I am afraid it is finally here.

I’ll stop short of saying I am a grown-up. My bedroom is almost indiscernible from that of a 17-year-old. For me, the real world always seemed like the horizon; always in the distance but never to be reached.

Growing up and going to school, life always felt like I was on a fixed track, following the steps in order and on time. I always thought leaving the track would mean leaving the summer’s rejuvenating effects behind too. That never having time to take a breath meant suffocating and dying.

I am happy to report that is not the case exactly. While the season to season schedule did change, so did my perspective on it. I came to realize instead of teachers’ and parents’ guiding influence over my life was transferred to me. Now when I go to work it’s not just to keep my parents off my back, it’s to keep a roof over my head and fill it with the things I want. Now when I sit down to write it is not to meet some requirement for a class, it is for my own enjoyment.

I had to make some concessions along the way. My window for becoming the Twins’ third baseman has probably shut, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get a few friends together and throw the ball around.

I do not know how other people will take the plunge into the working world. I do know that what it is and what I thought it would be are different. Not totally different, I get tired of working five or more days a week. I do wish I could get three months off to hang out at the lake and ride my bike to the video store. I changed too. I know that for all my summer memories at the swimming pool, I still spent most of my days sitting in front of the television.

Growing up was not such a magical time that a change would be the end of everything. It’s just an evolution. I do not even know what I would do in a sandbox today. Probably just dust myself and head into work early. I often warn people about the tricks nostalgia can play on the mind and I still catch myself yearning for the days of my youth. At least now that I have stepped off the track I know that autonomy is nothing to be afraid of.

Allen is a journalism graduate student. Reach him at allen.falken@live.com

I got a Netflix account sometime last year. I can’t remember the reason exactly. I think its was because I wanted to watch Lost beginning to end. While the show turned out to be a colossal disappointment, I did stumble onto my new hobby. I have become somewhat of a documentary junkie.

I started out with ones I had heard of from the media like Super Size Me, Waiting for Superman, The King of Kong, and other high profile films. I did not just stick to movies with which I agreed. I watched a few conservative documentaries which were mostly terrible. I am not referring to the message of the films. I am just talking about the quality of the direction. Makes me wonder why there are no good conservative filmmakers. I guess it’s hard to make mountain top removal sympathetic.

Sorry, I got off topic there, but it is just an observation.After I ran out of movies I could think of, I had to dig deeper. A short search on the Internet brought me to several movie sites and podcasts. Screened.com was particularly helpful to me as they directed me to some of my favorite documentaries last year. Exit Through the Gift Shop and The Art of the Steal are two different looks into the world of art that I would have otherwise never heard about. They weren’t only two of my favorite documentaries of last year but were probably among my favorite movies of any description.

Exit Through the Gift Shop is a film about the world of underground street art and how the movement is being

turned into big business. The film is a fascinating achievement as it is two films in one. First it is a thorough record of street artists that, because of the here today gone tomorrow nature of their work, is the only record of their work that will endure. The second part of the film is a statement on popular culture, as the hapless man filming the street artists decides to become an artist himself. With only a few words to the media from the artists he filmed, he sets the art world ablaze. It becomes a modern version of The Emperor’s New Clothes as the media crowns him the hot new artist without much consideration of his actual work.

The Art of the Steal is about the system getting what the system wants. The story follows the fate of an art collection that belonged to Albert C. Barnes. Barnes held a deep seeded hatred for the wealthy and the politicians of Philadelphia and did everything possible to ensure that his collection would remain out of their grasp. After his death however, the forces that be came for his collection. Year after year, the failsafes Barnes put into place eroded until a final showdown for the priceless art collection that was never meant to leave the walls of the gallery came to a head.

The movie is a showcase for art pieces that even a philistine like myself can appreciate their beauty as well as a sobering reminder that the rich and the powerful are indeed very rich and very powerful.

For those of us who are looking for lighter fare or just do not have two hours to sit and watch a documentary I have also enjoyed other documentary style programs like the profanity riddled and always amusing Penn and Teller’s “BS” (I will leave what the “BS” stands for up to the imagination) and Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock’s social experimentation program 30 Days.

So, if you are in the mood for something a little different on movie night, maybe consider throwing in a good documentary. They can expose you to new things and new stories of real people in the world around us. The harsh reality is, if we do not stop watching Big Momma movies, Martin Lawrence will never stop making them. As long as we do not reject awful parody movies, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer will continue to take 45 minutes out of their days to “write” them and I suspect their stockpile of unfunny movie ideas may be endless.

Allen is a journalism graduate student. Reach him at allen.falken@live.com