Ball Talk

Charlie Maricle

Last year brought drama, glory and fame to many in the sports world.

Baseball, with its first World Series in almost a decade without the Yankees, was thrilling. And football actually was able to use the term “Cinderella” and still be considered a manly sport.

But the major sports were not the only ones to see drama.

Professional bowlers began to showboat and trash talk their way through tournaments, making bowling much less agonizing to watch. And America finally caught up with the rest of the world and found soccer.

But with the new year comes new prospects, new adventure and new drama. So I have decided to predict what you should look for in ’03.

4The National Basketball Association will make a rule forcing Shaq and Kobe to go two on five throughout the playoffs. Oh, and Phil Jackson will morph into Buddha.

4Barry Bonds will have a 1.000 On Base Percentage from being walked every at bat. Also, George Stienbrenner will buy all of Major League Baseball and call it the Yankees.

4The National Football League will find out that Michael Vick is actually Superman and will give him the option of a lifetime ban or playing for the Bengals.

4The National Hockey League will begin to use Don King to promote the games.

4Tiger Woods will win all four major golf championships, “the grand slam”, and still be considered underachieving.

4A woman will win Nascar’s Winston Cup championship. And Tony Stewart will switch to decaf.

4The Williams sisters won’t win a tennis championship but will play in plaid corduroy pants, thus cementing themselves as fashion gurus, because you know plaid is coming back.

4Soccer in America will become as big as it is in Europe, forcing it to be properly named football, changing football to soccer and throwing the world off its axis.

4World Wrestling Entertainment will be considered a sport … yeah I can’t say that with a straight face, sorry.